I'm ok not knowing how much I weigh for the moment. I am in a sea of not-knowing, actually, and so I figure "why bother about the number if I still fit (albeit badly) into my skinny jeans?" There are more important things I'd like to know now, anyhow, like:
---When will I get that little piece of paper I need from my employer? And how much of a difference will this make in my job-hunting/training plans?
---Will I receive any kind of help from the government with respect to feeding myself while I hunt down my next career move?
---Will anyone in Belgium give me an apprenticeship opportunity in chocolate or will I manage to secure some other learning opportunity here?
In the meantime I read over the pile of documents from the FOREM, partially bewildered. I have good days and bad days with my back. I review bank and health-insurance policy changes with furrowed brow. I make phone calls, check websites and plan visits. I move deliberately and methodically, carefully collecting the fragments of information I need to have a clearer idea about what direction my life might be headed in 2012. While many people use the beginning of the year to set goals, this year I find myself making plan A and B and C, and wondering which I'll end up using, while hoping that at least one of them works.
And I drink herbal tea. I'm trying to rehydrate.
I am the girl with the far away look in her eye, fingers crossed, counting down to the stroke of something.