Tuesday, July 14, 2009

All Yo-yo'ed out.

This place. It kills me. Just as the situation with jobs seems like there *might* be a glimmer of hope, the situation with Boyfriend is seeming all implodey. It feels like there is never any stable ground to stand on, and today despite some good (even pretty great) news, I feel I'm reeling a bit.

I spoke to a lady at one of the language schools in Liege today. We have another meeting on Thursday, where she'll explain to me how they do things there, and then she's going to give me a few courses to try me out as an English teacher. So at least that's a bit of money, I think. I don't think it's legal to try someone out without paying them for at least the work they did while you were trying them out. Of course, I'm not sure what this means really since I'll be an 'independent' (most language teachers are) and I'm not even really sure if I'm technically allowed to be an independent here, (there are all these weird ways Belgians have to classify themselves officially in their job market so they can be taxed accordingly, or something.) At any rate, it seems most of the classes this school offers are one-on-one, and it's very important of course that the client enjoy their class, sooo... um, hopefully I'm edutaining.

Additionally I don't know how that will work if waffle guy wants to give me a job either, since he's about 2 hours away by transit, which means I'll be busy from 5am to about 6 or 7 pm if I'm working full-time for him. Not my idea of great, but it would help my wallet not to look so pathetic, and I really kind of have to take what's offered to me right now if I don't want to starve, or go home and be all sad and poor or something. How not to piss off English lady since she'd be offering me less hours, but probably better pay, while waffling with waffle guy long enough to not be so darn poor? And it's all theoretical anyways, because I still don't, in fact, have any job. I'm tired and this kind of thinking makes me feel dizzy.

And Boyfriend... I have no idea what to say other than that we seem to keep 'not getting' each other lately, which makes me very sad, on top of the sad I was already feeling about how I'm doing (or not doing) here, overall. If I were standing further back, I'm sure I'd find it amusing how similar some situations are, in reverse to how they were in Canada when he was there. I didn't get a lot of what he was dealing with there, and all I knew was that it made him sad and even if it didn't have to do with me a lot of the time, I only seemed to be clumsy and make things worse when I tried to help. Of course, the desire to help the person you love, it's there because you care, but it seems in situations like these... there isn't much you can really do except be a cheerleader. We aren't learning this lesson fast enough, about how to be a team, and it worries us both.

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